Today I want to talk about forgiveness.
Forgiveness of others, and forgiveness of the self.
I’ve always been someone who’s held onto resentment. If I had to choose between having a tough conversation and confronting the way that I felt or pushing it all down, I’d opt for the latter.
I did a journaling exercise recently where I chose a few people I felt wronged by. I acknowledged their wrongdoing, and then I forgave them for it. While this is not easy, and may not be coming from a place of complete readiness just yet, I know all too well the value of forgiveness. After all, the only person that resentment truly hurts is yourself. So I was game to try this out.
When it was time to do this for myself...my list of resentments went on for several pages. I was shocked by how much resentment I’ve been carrying toward myself.
I forgave myself for not accepting the compliments of others because I didn’t believe they were telling the truth.
For being cruel to my body when it didn’t look the way I thought it should.
For the drastic actions I took out when I was in survival mode.
For letting people hurt me.
For the shame I felt for my past.
And so much more.
Unsurprisingly, I’ve been very hard on myself over the years. I was angry for things that I think other people would have easily forgiven me for. I was even upset at actions I took when I was a child.
We think it’s difficult to confront our emotions and actually work through them, but the reality is that it’s much easier to do that. It requires far more energy to carry that shit with us for months, years, even decades.
Take the time today to ask yourself these two questions:
Who can I forgive and release today?
How can I forgive myself today?
I promise you there is no better feeling than feeling the weight of your resentment as it lifts from your heart. Forgiveness is not about pleasing others or making them more comfortable. It is about your healing. Your health and well being. Your happiness. Forgiveness is about you.